365 Days.

 

20140331-080814.jpg                                                                                                     365 days.

A year can feel like a long time, but really, they tend to just sneak past when we’re not paying attention.

365 mornings. Getting up, scrambling to make coffee and kids breakfasts, find socks and lost toys. Looking at my ever growing to-do list and knowing I’m not going to have anywhere near enough time to do everything I need to do.

365 evenings. Dinners to be made, stories to read, rushing around, trying to get pyjamas on and teeth brushed. Trying to get everything done and everyone to bed so Kane and I can actually get to spend a bit of time together. Too many evenings where we are both too tired to even talk, one or both of us falling asleep on the couch unable to stay awake even to the end of a t.v. show.

The days blur into each other.

Sure, there are some highlights, great some moments that stand out, but seriously if you asked me what I’ve been doing for the last year, I would struggle to think of an answer that doesn’t include changing nappies, doing dishes and being tired.

Now don’t get me wrong.

I’m not complaining. I want to be a stay-at-home mum, I knew there would be a lot of cleaning and nappies involved.

What I am saying, is that there has to be a better way.

Less stress. Less yelling. Less rushing.

I am not a “routine” kind of person. My home could be, at best, described as organised chaos. But I am starting to realise that I am going to have to set some kind of routines to get things running more smoothly around here.

I want the next 365 mornings to not include tears and yelling. I want to start my day feeling positive instead of exhausted. I want bedtimes to have stories and cuddles, not arguments and tears.

I haven’t worked out exactly how I’m going to do all these things, but I’ll get there. One day.

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Welcome (back) to my (new) blog :)

Hi there,

I’m Beck.

This is my blog.

Soooo…come here often? Nope, that’s ok, me neither.

Ok, a little bit about me…

I’m 31 years old, I  have a husband who is totally into d.i.y-ing the shit out of everything, (seriously, he’s building our whole house!) 2 gorgeous kidlets who drive me batshit crazy, but also make me laugh everyday and I love them to bits.

This little bundle of cuteness is 9 month old Carter, also known as Squishy-baby

This little bundle of cuteness is 9 month old Carter, also known as Squishy-baby

I went and fell in love with a country boy and packed up my whole life and moved up the bush to be with him. Throw in assorted family dramas, a few crazy animals, building our own house, a couple of babies, living in the shed while we build our house, a few personal issues…and hey presto, here we are.

This is my gorgeous Scout, also known as Snugglebug, with my hubby, Kane

This is my gorgeous Scout, also known as Snugglebug, with my hubby, Kane

I’m craft-mad and a bit of a hoarder, I love food, wine, music, books and animals. (I have a bit of a habit of bringing home rescuing stray creatures) I love op-shopping for bargain vintage finds, I love bold colours and bling and gorgeous shoes. I have battled too many things in my life, from anxiety and depression to crazy family members, I refuse to let those things rule my life anymore. Sometimes I swear too much, sometimes I drink too much, but I am finally at a place in my life where I am happy just being Me.

So, welcome to the crazy, I hope you’ll stick around for a while

(I love to hear from you guys too, so feel free to leave a comment or drop me a message anytime xoxo)

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I miss my blog

I miss my blog.

I miss writing.

I know I need to take this time out to get my head right but I really can’t wait to get back to writing, hopefully with a clearer idea of who I am and what I want to say.

This anxiety / PND thing is a bitch, I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster, up one minute down the next, but I’m learning to ride it out. It’s always darkest right before the dawn.

I think the counselling is helping, but it’s stirring up a lot of old emotions and things I thought I’d dealt with that I still need to work through. I’m sure there’ll be a whole bunch of blog posts once I feel ready.

But for now, thank you to everyone who’s still around and reading this. I’ve gotten to know some lovely people through writing this blog and it really brightens my day knowing that you take the time to read my little blog.

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Big Hugs, till next time,

Beck xoxo

Still Here…

Hiya Peeps,

What an incredible week, I wanted to write a blog post about the legacy of our first female P.M. (but there’s a million of them out there, I liked this one) and I wanted to write about the awesomeness that is the Reclink Community Cup and what a fabulous time we had there on Sunday.

But I didn’t. I wrote this.

You might (or might not) have noticed that I’m not around so much these days.

I guess I’ve just got a lot going on at the moment; my gorgeous bub needs me, my big girl is adjusting to being a big sister, I’m trying to hold the fort here in the shed so Hubby can make some progress on the house, oh and this PND thing that keeps sneaking up on me and and knocking me on my ass.

I’m kinda busy.

All in all, I’m doing ok.

Some days are good, some days aren’t. I’m learning to cope.

But some things have had to take a back seat, and for now, it’s my “projects” that have been put on “pause”.  My craft stuff, my knitting, even my creative projects for the house, and yep, the blog too. I’ll get back to it all soon, but for now I need to focus on myself and give my little family the attention it needs.

I love my blog, I think writing it helps keep me sane, and I love you guys even more for reading it. I’ll still be around, probably more on the facebook page than on here, but I’ll still blog occasionally, till I get my shit together.

I guess I just wanted to let ya’ll know that I appreciate you reading me and I’ll be back soon.

Till next time,

Beck xoxo

1 year on…

Exactly one year ago today, I married my soulmate.
Did my dream wedding go exactly as planned? Nope.
Did we let the pouring rain dampen our spirits? Nope.
Was there a single thing that went wrong that actually matters now, one year on? Nope.

We might not have done things “traditionally” but I’m glad we did it our way.
I love that our (one year old, at the time) daughter got to be a part of our wedding. As our gorgeous celebrant said “She has no idea what’s going on right now but one day soon she will, and she’ll be happy that her parents decided to get married today and that she was part of it.”
Our celebrant was the fantastic 3TripleR radio personality Jon Von Goes. Kane said if he was ever to get married JVG had to be the one to do it. He was worth every penny, he made everyone laugh and made us forget how nervous we were!
I’m also glad we kept the guest list pretty small. There’s a few friends I felt really bad about not inviting but we wanted to keep it small and intimate and it was just that.

Mostly though, I’m just glad we did it.
We’re two people who, earlier in life, said we’d never get married. But then we met each other.
Even then, we said, “it’s only a piece of paper, it doesn’t change anything.”
We already had a beautiful daughter and had bought a property together, what difference could a wedding possibly make?
But we decided to do it anyway.
We were both surprised to find that, somehow, it did feel different.
Somehow, it strengthened what we already felt and made it feel more… I don’t know, more real.

Our Wedding.

Our Wedding.

The one year anniversary traditionally means a “paper” gift, so the paper I got for Kane is two tickets to the Neil Young (his favourite artist) gig in a couple of weeks.
We’re not really doing anything special today for our anniversary, which I’ve been a bit sulky about today, but writing this has reminded me that getting married isn’t just about the “big day,” it’s about what you do every day after that.
Just like an anniversary really is just another day, it marks a year of days spent together and memories being made. This year, there’s been plenty of those!
It’s not about fancy restaurants, presents or holidays.(although I wouldn’t say no to any of those….)

So right now, I’m going to go do some more painting on the house, then I’m going to go put a bottle of bubbly in the fridge and go pick up some take away and celebrate making it through another year together.

Happy Anniversary Honey.

Happily Ever After....

Happily Ever After….

Till next time,
Beck xoxo

November 20th, 2012

So, that brings us pretty much up to speed. I’m still pregnant, about 6 weeks to go, feels like my belly’s getting bigger by the day! Really looking forward to getting this baby out! I think it’ll be great for Snugglebug to have a little playmate too.

The house is still progressing, slowly but we’re getting there.

I have to say, I’m really proud of myself for sticking it out for this long, and now that the end is almost in sight, I feel like I can finally start to relax just a little bit. We still have a lot to do, it may still take awhile, but it will happen one day.

It’s starting to look like a real house!

We’ve been through some wild weather, huge arguments and some of my very darkest days have been in this shed but in the last 2 1/2 years there has also been some of my happiest ever moments and greatest achievements. Our marriage, the birth of our daughter, learning how to do things I never thought I would do, working at building our house, and just hanging out as a family, watching Snugglebug grow.

I never thought I’d say this,  but I wouldn’t change a thing.

All the tears and stress have been worth it and it’s really brought Kane and I closer than ever, I’m sure that if we can survive the last few years we can survive anything. I don’t think I’d appreciate things quite so much if we hadn’t had so much stress along the way.

There’s still a hell of a lot of work to do here and I have absolutely no doubt there’ll be more dramas along the way too, but I’m also excited to see what happens next.

Till next time,

Beck xxx