3 year old tantrums and a book review

 

My 3 and a 1/2 year old is bright, funny, creative and very strong willed and independent.

I love and want to nurture these traits, but it can be difficult.

Especially when she just Does. Not. Want. To…{eat, get dressed, go to bed, stop hitting her brother… etc.}  and far too often ends up in with everyone yelling and crying. I’ve tried time outs, taking away toys, bribery, even smacking.

None of these feels right to me.

In search of some parenting tips, I paid a visit to my local library.

I grabbed 4 books that looked promising;

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Planning With Kids (Nicole Avery), Attached at the Heart (Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker), The Mummy Coach (Lorraine Thomas), and Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children – Becoming a Mindful Parent (Sarah Napthali)

This is what I thought of them:

Planning With Kids.

I didn’t even realise till about 1/4 way through, that I am already a follower of this lovely lady’s blog and FB page!

I really liked this book, lots of really useful, practical suggestions about getting organised to help avoid melt-downs and tantrums. I took lot of notes of ideas to try out, including getting meal times under control, setting yourself 15min “jobs” to do, looking for solutions instead of blaming, setting goals, finding ways to deal with morning and evening “peak-hour” to avoid tantrums.

(I think one of the reasons I liked this was that she seems like a normal real mum, you know, the kind that yells and loses her shit sometimes just like the rest of us. I get a bit suspicious of parenting advice from anyone who seems too perfect. )

{I’ll pop the link to the FB page here >>     https://www.facebook.com/PlanningWithKids?ref=ts&fref=ts

Attached at the Heart.

An interesting read about attachment parenting. I wouldn’t say that I’m completely won over by this style of parenting, but there are a lot of elements to it that I strongly agree with too. I would say this book would probably be more use to someone with a younger baby and looking for some gentler ideas to try, but I still found it interesting and informative. A good read for anyone who wants to know more about the concept of attachment parenting, and they back up their ideas with a lot of research.

The Mummy Coach.

I really did not like this one, in fact certain parts of it really pissed me off. (If it wasn’t a library book,  I probably would have chucked it out a window!)

I found a lot of the “advice” to be quite patronising, for example: “Believe in yourself!” “Visualise a calming colour and count to ten” (when your child is having a tantrum) “Draw a love-heart and write your child’s name inside it and stick it on the fridge” (????) “Make sure you get plenty of me-time, book yourself massage”

I’m sorry, but this chick is living in fairy-land. I can find all the airy-fairy, affirming quotes I could possibly ever need on Pinterest, visualising a calming colour is definitely not going to help me when Scout is having a tantrum and pushes her brother over, splitting his lip on the floor and I have two, hysterically screaming little banshees to deal with. Vodka and a time out, maybe, but visualising? Not so much. And if I had the time to have “me-time” and get a massage… then I wouldn’t be stressed enough to be consulting your book for advice now, would I?

Ok, rant over.

Buddhism for Mothers of  Young Children.

I’ve noticed a heap of blogs and parenting sites lately talking about mindful parenting, so I was curious to find out a bit more about it. I really enjoyed this book, in fact I immediately jumped on Amazon to order this book and her previous one, Buddhism for Mothers. I found so many ideas that resonated really strongly with me, I’ve covered the book in a confetti of post-it notes of things I want to come back to read again. The main theme that comes through really strongly for me is wanting to really “be present” for my babies, right now, and that means having to let go of my worrying about the past and the future and just take each moment as it comes and do the best I can.

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So, there you go, my little book review.

If there’s any books you’d like to suggest for me to check out, parenting or otherwise, let me know in the comments section here or on the FB page.

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Welcome (back) to my (new) blog :)

Hi there,

I’m Beck.

This is my blog.

Soooo…come here often? Nope, that’s ok, me neither.

Ok, a little bit about me…

I’m 31 years old, I  have a husband who is totally into d.i.y-ing the shit out of everything, (seriously, he’s building our whole house!) 2 gorgeous kidlets who drive me batshit crazy, but also make me laugh everyday and I love them to bits.

This little bundle of cuteness is 9 month old Carter, also known as Squishy-baby

This little bundle of cuteness is 9 month old Carter, also known as Squishy-baby

I went and fell in love with a country boy and packed up my whole life and moved up the bush to be with him. Throw in assorted family dramas, a few crazy animals, building our own house, a couple of babies, living in the shed while we build our house, a few personal issues…and hey presto, here we are.

This is my gorgeous Scout, also known as Snugglebug, with my hubby, Kane

This is my gorgeous Scout, also known as Snugglebug, with my hubby, Kane

I’m craft-mad and a bit of a hoarder, I love food, wine, music, books and animals. (I have a bit of a habit of bringing home rescuing stray creatures) I love op-shopping for bargain vintage finds, I love bold colours and bling and gorgeous shoes. I have battled too many things in my life, from anxiety and depression to crazy family members, I refuse to let those things rule my life anymore. Sometimes I swear too much, sometimes I drink too much, but I am finally at a place in my life where I am happy just being Me.

So, welcome to the crazy, I hope you’ll stick around for a while

(I love to hear from you guys too, so feel free to leave a comment or drop me a message anytime xoxo)

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I’m Back Baby, I’m Back

“Honey I’m home!”

I’m so glad I took this little break from the blog, it helped me realise how much I really enjoy writing and I’m so glad to be back. I’ve spent the last couple of months with so many blog posts rattling around in my head, just desperate to jump out.

But it has changed my perspective on things and on the direction I want my blog (and my life) to head.

I’m thinking about a bit of a “re-branding”.  I haven’t decided yet if I’ll change the name of the blog yet, but I’m making a lot of changes in my life and I feel like  I need to make a bit of a change here to reflect that.

When I started this blog it was mostly to document my journey through moving to the bush and building our own house. It’s still  about that, but I also want to go a bit deeper. I feel like I’ve been “editing” my posts to make them more “user-friendly” and being really careful not to offend anyone, and in doing that I’ve lost my voice and what I want to say.

If I’m going to write, I need to do it honestly and stay true to myself, or not do it at all.

I’m doing a lot of reading and trying to work out the direction I want to be heading in, the counselling I’ve had for the PND has been great in helping me to see areas of my life that need a bit of work and I’ve started reading the simplify your life ebook from HLS and I’m really loving it. It’s been fantastic for helping me “audit” my life and really look at what’s working and what’s not.

So, stay tuned as I do a bit of “tweaking ” around the blog and FB page and thanks for sticking with me this far.

Till next time,

Beck xoxo

*this post is in no way sponsored by HLS, I paid for my ebook just like everybody else, I’m just talking about it because I genuinely think it’s awesome and I’m really enjoying reading it*

Childhood Favourites

Time for #listmania 12: childhood favorites. It’s been a wonderful stroll down memory lane writing this list.

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Favourite Toys:
Barbie, He-Man, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite.
Yep, I’m a real child of the early 80’s! I loved my Barbie dolls the most, I had far too many of them. (Thanks Uncle Steve!) I kept most of them, they’re packed away in boxes somewhere, hopefully Snugglebug will like them when she’s a bit bigger. To balance out the super-girly-ness of Barbie, I loved He-man too. Although, quite often, the two would come together and Barbie would leave Ken at the altar and run away with He-Man to battle evil instead!

Favourite Foods:
My Baba’s cheese strudel and her home-made donuts. Yum, still two of my faves, but the smell of my childhood is definitely Baba’s chicken noodle soup. Not that I liked it all that much, after having to eat it almost every single day for at least 6 years, I finally admitted that I couldn’t stand the stuff! But the smell of it takes me straight back to my grandmas kitchen and I still crave it when I have a cold.

The last photo of 'Lissa and I, taken the day before she died.

The last photo of ‘Lissa and I, taken the day before she died.


Favourite Pet:
As a kid, I had a few pets, mostly cats that ignored me and fish that didn’t live very long. I always wanted a dog but wasn’t allowed to have one at home, so when my Grandparents neighbours dog had puppies, they got one so I could have a dog at their house. Her name was Melissa and she was a funny little thing. I spent endless afternoons playing and talking to her.

Christmas 1989, Uncle Steve & I, with the amazing gingerbread 'santa's workshop'

Christmas 1989, Uncle Steve & I, with the amazing gingerbread ‘santa’s workshop’


Favourite Time of Year:
Christmas!!! I’ve always loved christmas, it was always such a big deal when I was a kid. Being an only child, I was seriously spoiled, not only by my parents but grandparents and uncles too. The highlight of christmas was definitely my uncle’s gingerbread houses. It started out small one christmas and got more and more elaborate every year, till he gave up making them when I was about 13. I always loved seeing what he was going to create for me. I love now that he’s revived this tradition now for Snugglebug. (and next year for Squishy too.)

Favourite Things to Do:
Rollerskating & Riding my bike.
Most days after school, if the weather was ok, I’d be outside doing laps of the garage on my rollerskates or riding my bike around the backyard. Every pair of jeans I owned as a kid was ripped at the knees because I was constantly falling over on my rollerskates, but I still loved it. If I was inside, I had my head buried in a book. My absolute favourites were: Anne of Green Gables, (and the rest of the Avonleigh series) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Trixie Belden books, and all the Enid Blyton books. I’ve got a most of these packed away n a box somewhere, hopefully when the kids are older they’ll enjoy them as much as I did.

I’m really enjoying writing these lists every week and want to say a big thanks to Deb from Home Life Simplified for coming up with all these awesome topics to write about, they’ve been very helpful for getting me off my bloggy butt and actually writing something when I haven’t really been feeling like it lately.

Till next time,
Beck xoxo

Listmania 11: All about books

This weeks #listmania got me thinking. I love books, I love reading, I love getting so involved in a story that I stay up all night till it’s finished.
Should I write about my favourite books? What I’m reading at the moment? Or what’s still on my list “to-read” one day?
A few years ago (pre-children) I set myself the challenge of reading 100 books in a year. I only just made it to a hundred a couple of days before the end of the year.

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At the moment I’m reading: Indelible Ink, by Fiona McGregor. About 1/3 of the way through and enjoying it. It’s a good ‘summer-read’. About a middle aged woman, in Sydney, who’s not sure where her life is heading after her divorce and she starts getting tattoos. I picked it up at the library last week because I liked the cover.

One of the best books I’ve read recently was: The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson.

One of the most disappointing books I’ve read recently was:
50 Shades Of Grey. I mean, it was ok, but after hearing so many people talk about it I thought it must be good, but it just didn’t live up to the hype for me.

My (literary) guilty pleasure is:
Bridget Jones’s Diary and Bridget Jones, the edge of reason. I bought these in 2003 and read them travelling though Europe. Like the book equivalent of a trashy “chick-flick” but great entertainment and will always remind me of lying on a beach in Croatia, reading and smoking french cigarettes.

A few of my favourites...

A few of my favourites…


Favourite Author:
Stephen King. I have read every book he’s put out. Some are great, some not so much but I love them all. I started reading his books at 12 years old, Skeleton Crew was the first book I borrowed from the “grown-up” part of the library.

Favourite series:
The Dark Tower, Stephen King. Long enough for me to get completely absorbed in. It’s my favourite alternate reality and I tend to re-read them whenever I’m feeling a bit down and in need of escape.

Favourite Bio:
No One Here Gets Out Alive (Jerry Hopkins and Danny Sugerman) (it’s the book they based “The Doors” movie on.) On Writing, Stephen King. (part autobiography, part how-to-write lesson)

Still waiting to be read:
The Comfort of Water by Maya Ward. Kingdom of Fear by Hunter S Thompson. Waging Heavy Peace by Neil Young (autobiography)

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All Time Favourites:
Feel The Fear (and do it anyway) my favourite “self-help/motivational” type book. I found out about it at a creativity seminar years ago and went and bought the book the next day.
To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee,
On The Road – Jack Kerouac (which I read at 14 after hearing that Kerouac’s writing inspired some of The Doors’s music.)
Kaz Cooke’s Up the Duff and Kidwrangling, books I refer to all the time in the last couple of years for baby/kid advice.

There’s probably a few more that I can’t think of right now, with most of my books packed away. It’ll be like meeting up with old friends when I finally get to unpack them.

Till next time,
Beck xoxo