Confession time

 

I have a confession to make….

 

I hate being pregnant.  There, I said it, bad mummy.

Ok, maybe I don’t really hate it, but I think it’s really sucky that I have to spend 9 months puking while other women get to glow and do yoga and bond with their bumps. Think of any pregnant woman on t.v. or in the movies, it’s like a conspiracy to make us think that it’s this magical time filled with baby showers and buying cute little bootees, when the reality has a lot more to do with heartburn medication, broken sleep and hormones.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s pretty incredible what my body is doing right now, growing a whole new little person, but I just wish I didn’t feel so crappy all the damn time. This time is so much worse than the first time. I wasn’t expecting it, I thought it’d be the same as last time.

Right now I’m almost 34 weeks pregnant.

I’ve spent the last 30 of those weeks nauseous and throwing up and just generally feeling like crap. I’m over it. Just once I’d like to be able to eat my dinner without wondering if I’ll be able to keep it down or not.

I want to enjoy my growing belly and get excited about this amazing process, but instead I’m tired and sick and sore. I barely have enough energy to drag myself around after 22 month old Snugglebug, let alone trying to keep up with housework and forget about cooking. I feel terrible to not be feeding us all the kinds of things I usually like to cook, tasty and fresh, stir frys and curries etc, but at the moment dinner is whatever I can manage to throw together in the 15 minutes that Snuggle is busy watching Iggle Piggle. I figure it doesn’t really matter because I’m usually too sick to eat it anyway.

All the baby books I’ve read say you should start feeling better around the 2nd trimester.

I guess my body never got the message.

I’m tired, achey, cranky, sleep deprived, sore, bloated, blotchy, hungry, reflux-y… did I mention tired?

This baby is really active too, it feels like it’s using my ribs as monkey bars to swing around on,and as for kicking, wow, I think this one’s gonna be the next Buddy Franklin! I just wish I could take it off for a few hours to give my poor body a break.

I know, I know, I’m lucky to be pregnant, I chose to have another baby, it’ll all be worth it in the end, it’s only another 6 weeks to go, etc etc. It’s just getting hard to think past this big bump in front of me! I just want to know why no-one ever tells you how hard it can be, we all worry about the birth being hard but no-one ever says that it can be hard to be pregnant too. I’m not even worried about labour anymore, I’m just looking forward to getting it out and not being pregnant anymore.

A pic from when I was pregnant with Snugglebug & had my belly painted.
Isn’t it awesome!

Ok, whinge over now.

I’m sure the next 6 weeks is going to fly past and once it’s over I probably won’t even remember how crappy I feel now. (Just please remind me if I ever decide to do this again!)

Just try to take it easy on the kicking in there, ok baby?

Till next time

Beck xxx

 

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2 thoughts on “Confession time

  1. Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself! This pregnancy gig isn’t easy and no one says you have to love it. It’s true, the home truths about pregnancy, birth and parenting are rarely disclosed but I wonder, even if they were would it change anything? I’m fairly certain we’d keep making babies. Hang in there. Love, the I haven’t ever vomited, pregnant, yogi type who you would definitely be hating right now xox

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    • I know, we’d keep doing it no matter what. As crappy as I feel now, there’s still a little voice in the back of my head that says “but the next one might be better….” (as if I’m even going to be ready to think about that for at least a couple more years.)
      At least it’s nearly over now, only 3 weeks to go 🙂

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